Generational Trauma and Its Affects

By: Maggie BurnettSource

Generational trauma is going under the radar and on October 25, 2022, in Pearson Park, Wayne opens up about his experiences with it. There are different ways to cope with trauma but it’s a long journey. Click Here to read more about generational trauma and how it can affect not just you, but others. 

When thinking about generational trauma, everyone has their own definition of it. "Generational trauma is a set of behaviors that are developed in certain situations, often leading to the victim becoming an abuser later on in life,” said Wayne, lifelong friend, and recovering victim. “Seeing traits in my parents and grandparents that have been passed down to me, and friends sharing similar experiences made me view it like that,” He has experienced generational trauma and is slowly figuring out how to cope with it. 

This kind of trauma can show up in many different ways when growing up. Your parents or grandparents could have been abused, whether it be physically, mentally, sexually, or emotionally, and they could do the same with their kids. They could be so blinded by the fact that what they experienced was not normal, and could continue the cycle of violence. “Sexual abuse runs on both sides of my family. My biological mother, her father, and my biological father were all sexually abused growing up and I wasn’t spared of that experience.” Wayne said, “Being exposed to sexual abuse at seven made future relationships tough; it warped my perspective on what a “healthy” relationship was and made me put my values in places they didn’t belong.” 

During the process of growing up, kids could think that violence and mistreatment are the norms and that can cause kids to repress their trauma and make their memory blurry. “Honestly, nothing was off the ordinary. I was too young to know that what was happening to me was wrong,” Wayne said, “It wasn’t until I was older that I could look back at my situation and realize that it was bad.” 

When repressed trauma is uncovered, the emotions you have been building up and hiding can affect your mental health in many ways. Some people will go through manic/panic attacks or bad depressive episodes. “Throughout my childhood, I wasn’t aware of the impacts, but they’ve caught up with me recently. I’ve dealt with depressive episodes, and struggled with the way I view relationships.” Wayne said. This shows that not only does the victim suffer but also others around the said victim. So the cycle of violence continues and continues. 

There are some excellent points in Wayne’s recovery story. He has been helped not just by his friends but by his adoptive mom too. “My adoptive mother and I had a sit-down where I explained how it has affected me. I opened up to her about my fears that I might end up like my father. She was very understanding. It was good to get it off my chest, to talk to someone about what I’ve been through.” He mentioned that it was the best decision he has ever made since his mental health got better after talking about it with someone. 

When talking about generational trauma, it’s very important to talk about how it can not just affect you, but all kinds of relationships one can have. Depending on the person, the trauma can make them more vulnerable, more violent, or even quieter. In Wayne’s case, he was more sexual than he wanted to be. “Sex was looked at in a strange sensation like it was the key to a happy life. It bled into my relationships as an adult, causing me to be more sexual than I was comfortable with. Recently I’ve had to look into it, review where it started, and work from there. I’m still in the process of healing from it.” 

As Wayne has mentioned, he is in the process of healing but he’s getting the hang of asking for help. “Having a good support group of people who will listen and do the same in return. People need to vent and I’ve found helping others through their stuff usually holds an answer or two for my stuff.” Wayne not only finds help in his friends listening to him but in also helping others. 

Wayne is a very comical guy and extremely passionate about helping others.  “Keep an open ear and an open mind, a lot of times that’s all people need.” As a man of few words, it’s not surprising that the most impactful thing he said was something so sweet, simple, and straight to the point. He’s made it clear that he cares about recovering while still caring for others. 

Generational trauma creeps up on most people and they don’t even realize it until they are adults. For some people, they can get therapy and get it treated, but for others, it’s not an option. It’s important to talk about your experiences with people you trust, that way you can have some support when figuring out your trauma.